Planning to talk to my psychiatrist about decreasing my Adderall another 5 MG and starting a non-controlled anti-anxiety PRN. Exploring different strains of cannabis. Therapy with Dr. Rita on Monday. Back to work on Monday. Need to make appointment with Jodi for life-coaching for next week. Get more exercise. Get out more. Try to make a friend I can talk to about everything. I scare people now. I'm too intense. I empathize with Joe, how it must have been to lose everyone. Men seem to want to fuck me now. Until they see how fucked up I am. I'm thinking about starting an OnlyFans to monetize that. I just want to have a conversation. I just want to be held. I want to be a mom again. I miss being normal. I opened a box that I can't close, and everything is rushing out. I'm so lonely.