Stream of Consciousness

Just trying to put words to some thoughts.

Quantum entanglement, Big Bang, was all matter one particle prior to Big Bang? Has Big Bang been dropped as preferred origin story?

Adam’s rib… similar… splitting of particles… splitting in Borderline Personality Disorder, C-PTSD, autism, Anti-social personality disorder, double empathy, NPD vs. BPD dynamic…. splitting, twin flame, one soul in multiple bodies… what is the soul made of? Photons? All hierarchies are artificial constructs used to impose order onto chaos, and are therefore, flawed… the speed of thought is faster than language. Is language a construct? Helen Keller, tactile thought…….. The Body Keeps the Score. Thought is electrical impulse…. it travels at the speed of light.

Going back to the big bang and the nature of matter… E=MC2… matter is light. Egg Theory, intuition, if we’re all one soul on its way to Godhood, would quantum entanglement hold? Collective Unconscious…. also, that thing where the same development happens simultaneously on the other side of the world… synchronicity.

Entrainment, emotional co-regulation, practiced across time and space. Attachment theory, refusing to let go, even though you’ve been abandoned, humans, and our relationship with the divine, ancient aliens, Fermi’s paradox, incredibly slow inter-stellar travel, colony ships

Good lord, my mind goes to crazy places. And, this is without even dipping a toe into AI and machine learning. I have a lot of things to read about.

My father had a phrase that he always used to describe my brother-in-law when he would try to fix, but inevitably, would further fuck up, his car. Dad would say, “He knows just enough to be dangerous.” I know just enough to be dangerous, about a lot of things.

Like, my thoughts are that thought and perception defy language… because language is a construct imposed upon thought… and is therefore, innately flawed. As a person with autism, I have a condition that causes issues with communication. I have worked my whole life to address this.

I think of humans, moving through this world, and perceiving things like quantum entanglement, out in the wild… and, I think of how far beyond our language something like that would be… when we were living in caves.

And, I think of religion, and spirituality, and stories, and words for emotions… and, I think, “What if it’s all just different ways of saying the same thing?”

Like, academic disciplines are an artificial construct imposed upon all of the things there are out there to understand… There is actually a ton of overlap between them. This is why I have such a hard time moving forward. How do you choose just one thing to learn about, when it’s all so amazing?

It’s a beautiful Universe that we live in.

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